This week for Wishcasting Wednesday our fearless leader, Jamie Ridler, asks:
What step do you wish to take?
There are lots of steps I could take toward many different dreams and goals, but there is one that is screaming for me to come on and take it already.
For a while now, I had had this loose idea for a novel or screenplay knocking around in the back of my mind. On April 12th, the idea rocketed to the front of my mind with an opening line and three well-formed and vocal characters in tow. The next day, I got to work creating character notes and jotting down the plot points I knew at the time. I even decided it would be better to go with a novel, since that’s a more familiar and comfortable form, and there were events in these characters’ lives and thoughts that would translate better in novel form. But since then, I’ve put it on the back burner for various unimportant reasons.
This is where the wish comes in:
I wish to start writing that novel this coming weekend without fear–the true reason for my procrastination–and with no other thought than to tell the story, to get it down in draft first and worry about whether it’s any good or not later.
For a large part of my life, I’ve had this dream of being a novelist. The thing is, I haven’t written a novel since I was a teenager, and I threw that away during my university years in a fit of self-doubt and disdain for my poor little work of juvenilia.
The thing is, I can’t ever be a novelist unless I write a novel!
Oh, ideas have come now and again, but I’ve been unable to stick with them. Let’s just say that my Inner Editor is quite skilled at malicious ridicule. Either that, or I write myself into a corner and don’t know how to get out, or get bored. Also, though it’s hard for me to admit, I am almost always afraid that either I’m not good enough to tell the story, or the story itself is stupid and that I never get any truly novel ideas.
This idea, this story, though, I think it may be the one that I actually finish…IF, and only IF, I don’t let myself get scared by that insidious fear of not being “good enough.” If I just write the story and worry about its literary merit later, it just might make it out of my head and onto the page.
That, and I strongly feel these characters’ stories deserve to be told, and for some reason I’m the one who got them, so maybe, in a way, they chose me. Honestly, who knows how the Muses work or why some people have certain characters, stories, or ideas come to them?
So, thank you in advance for your support fellow Wishcasters! I hope your wishes come true as well. 🙂