Pardon my tardiness in posting. Yesterday was one of those days that was a perfect illustration of a person making plans and the Powers That Be laughing. Getting back on track now…
What do you wish to make room for?
The first thing that came to mind? Uncertainty. There is a lot of uncertainty in my life, and I’ve not been wanting to give it its space. In point of fact, I’ve been trying to get rid of it, which, of course, doesn’t work.
More than that, though, I want to make room for all of the disparate emotions I’m feeling to coexist without judging or struggling against them too much. I want to make room inside myself to let them be so I can learn what I need to learn from them.
You see, my job is set to come to an end with the retirement of my boss, who is also the sole owner of the business. October 1st is the latest estimated close date. With that comes a whole storm of emotions.
Since I still don’t have definite plans, there’s a heaping serving a fear.
This will be a clean break, though, and I’ll be able to relocate, and, theoretically go anywhere and do anything. That’s simultaneously exciting and terrifying. Exciting because of the possibility, but terrifying because I don’t yet know where to go or what to do when I get there.
Some days I am so sure I’ll be able to cut through whatever obstacles come my way as I leave the familial nest, hopefully for good, but other days I’m all too aware of my own humanness and fragility.
All of that is perfectly natural, given the circumstances in which I find myself. I mean, I’ve been working toward this for three years: moving out of my parents’ house and, if all goes as well as I hope, out of my hometown, but there are a lot of roots and memories and ties here. That’s why I’m wishing for the space for all of the opposites to coexist, as in an open hand.
Also, I wish to make space for direction to show itself, a small, mental compartment for that still, small, intuitive voice to be heard. That is where the direction I so desperately need lies.
Basically, I need some clear head space.
Finally, I wish to make space for all the potential good things waiting just beyond my line of sight. I can feel that they are out there.
What about you? What do you wish to make space for?
(My full moon dreamboard will be coming soon.)