Every time I move, the faint, sweet scent of vanilla wafts up, Bath & Body Works’ Warm Vanilla Sugar, caught in the fibers of my sweater. It is comfort…A small spot of comfort in an increasingly stressful place.
It is stressful, not necessarily from the work itself so much as the infinite unknowns, the half-truths, the insecurities, the hand full of callers who snap at me for not having all the answers to fix their lives, the moods of those around me hanging, unnamed aloud, in the air. It is the feeling of being on a sinking ship, but having no idea how quickly or slowly it will split in half and descend to the bottom of the ocean.
The blinds are doing a poor job of keeping out the sun, oddly bright in what is the darkest part of the year. I want to be outside in it, though I know it’s cold, or curl up in a patch of it like a cat napping on the windowsill.
Instead I try to freeze a moment in words, here, while my printer laboriously, slowly spits out pages of PDF documents and I wait on something else that needs to be done.