Posts Tagged With: nature
The light was gorgeous this afternoon in the magic time about an hour before the sun began to set, so I had to bring my camera out to play, to capture it and the bits of color still hanging onto the trees of the neighborhood before they’re all bare.
The sun’s warmth spread against my skin like a blanket, and a light, warm breeze intermittently tousled my hair as I wandered entranced, seeing the world through my viewfinder.
A few minutes immersed in such beauty can feel like forever suspended in warmth and stillness.
Somehow, when I manage to let go and allow myself to simply see, I always seem to find exactly what I need.
Note: Photos taken with my trusty Canon Rebel XS and my new Canon EF-S 55-250 mm IS lens.
The day I took that photograph, I had been unemployed for two months.
I had been going around and around in the same fearful, anxiety-fueled circles for weeks, getting myself ever further into a mire, and decided the best way to get some relief was to take a trip to the lake. Nature, and particularly this lake, is sacred space to me. I took my journal, my camera, and a couple books and decided to see what Nature would say.
I kicked my shoes off and took a walk along the beach, wading barefoot in the water’s edge. Up ahead I could see a small flock of ducks gathered by some driftwood. I raised my camera and took their picture.
At the same time, I felt something brush across the top of my foot. It was this feather. I watched the lake lap at it a couple of times, then took the picture.
In that moment I got the answer I went for. To me, this small gift said, “Don’t lose hope. Keep faith. It’s all going to be alright.”
Not even a week later, I was employed. My new position is far from perfect, but I have been blessed to form fast friendships with my coworkers and feel like I’m gaining some momentum and direction again. I feel like, one way or another, it’s all going to be alright.
I’ve been really unbalanced lately.
As I said yesterday when I posted this month’s full moon dreamboard, a lot of old hurts, a lot of old tapes, have come up, things I thought I was done with, but, really, I’d just shoved them in a mental closet until the door couldn’t shut on them anymore. Again, I wish I could say I’ve been dealing with it gracefully and compassionately, but, for the most part, I haven’t been.
In addition to the inner upheaval, I’ve had a lot of stress coming at me from work, and also from certain family members. I haven’t been dealing with this gracefully nor compassionately, either.
It’s been sort of the perfect storm. Of course, I did ask to not be allowed to go back to sleep and ignore what I really want out of this one, wild life, so I should have expected this, as this generally happens when the status quo isn’t cutting it anymore and one starts to seriously contemplate doing something about it. It begs for resistance!
I decided today, when my stress, anger and frustration left me flushed, when my skin felt burning hot, that I had to get out of the house. I had to get away from the triggers for a while. I had to go to what has become my default sacred space: the local lake. If I’m feeling at my wit’s end, I’m likely to be found there, being caressed by Mama Nature’s breeze off the water, being lulled by the sound of its lapping at the shore, and finding peace underneath a tree or surrounded by a few. All the bitterness, sadness, anger, stress, frustration, fear…Whatever has me emotionally at the end of my rope seems to drain away, and I am led back to myself. I don’t know how it happens, but it does.
On my way, when I was almost there, a hawk swooped down less than a foot in front of my windshield. I braked, fearing I would hit it, but it was far too fast for that. I took note. Guess what hawks mean in terms of totems?
“Hawk’s piercing shriek tears through the air. In its shrill cry lies an important message which represents illumination. Hawk teaches us to scope out the situation and focus on our talents, trying to draw them out. Hawk learns to see the big picture in order to understand the past, present, and future. Hawk asks us to be observant of surroundings so we won’t get distracted from our path by others. It also reminds us not to get caught up in minor annoyances so we can maintain our inner balance.” — AnimalTotem.com, emphasis mine.
How appropriate is that?
Now for some photographic goodness from the trip:
I feel miles better. I’m not going back to sleep, turning a blind eye to the many things that need to change, but I am going to try to find some emotional balance, some grace and healing, while I ride out the storms that come with this waking up. I foresee more frequent trips to my sacred place.
I hope you’ve had a blessed Sunday, dear reader.
There has been a lot going on internally for me lately: sorting through fear-tangles and self-defeating habits, dreaming, gearing up for one, possibly two new creative endeavors…The list goes on. Yet, I have little to say about things. So, while I wait for words to come, I offer a different sort of peek inside.
Have a restful weekend, dear readers.